Yes I am at it again, another rant and rave of your only Deity of the Universe of Infinite. I was going to brush this under the carpet but when it affected my gigai I couldn’t turn a deaf eye nor a blind ear to the matter anymore. Want to guess what my issue is? Guess you wouldn’t given a million years. Before I vent my frustration at the regression of the human race more specifically the Sapiens sapiens species, let us take a short walk through History. Yes yes, I am allowed to do that as Time falls under Infinity. And no it isn’t time travel so wipe that Mephistophelean smile off your face, I don’t want to have real live Dr. Whos and Rose Tylers.
The year will be 1876 and the smart ones already know. Yes your mental projections will be visiting Sir Alexander Graham Bell; the father of the telephone. The Aegyptopithecus to the smart phone you hold in your palm now. He patented the first practical working telephone. However, though the inventor or not depending on what history you listen to, he found the telephone a nuisance and kept it in his study. Though not evolved he could still see its danger.
Fast forward to the future. Now I know many of you are sharpening your pitchforks and stoking the fire ready for a witch-hunt or more appropriately a deity hunt, hoping to catch me and roast me well well-done. I would tell you to save your energy but you wouldn’t listen. Just like all the witches you burned during the Dark Ages who lied to you they died?
Tags, more so #tags are my pet peeve. The humans of this era are so into their Smartphone that one would be forgiven for thinking that Smartphones are their deities while in realty they are theirs stakes.
Likes comments and hash tags are the lifeline of such. When Bell made the telephone, he had no idea that the # would gain such prominence. Even the * button isn’t that button anymore. All that is left is for all mobile phones to unanimously agree that there should be a dedicated # button like the windows key on most comps
#Bell #telephony #Blogging #Writinginbed #Coffee #cofeeholic #Righthandwriting #Multitasking #Textingbae #history #research #MondayBlues #BedManenos #PhilosophicalTings (Yes I wrote tings instead of things) #MyBrainBetterThanYours #WritingIsBae #BloggingIsBae #ThoughtsUnderAMosquitoNet #AfterSundayTings #I’mSoSmart #HP #TypingInBed #DUI #DILLIC?
Yes all those #tags apply to this gigai as he types away. Seriously? You don’t #GiveADamn and I #Don’tCare. Very soon, the # in any tag shall be counted as a separate word in essays et al. #Change.
Look, you might think that #tagging makes you look all cool and such but honey baby, honey is only delicious to lick the first four times after that you get sick of it. It just shows your; yes your level of intellect and maturity is at #AllTimeLow. Yes some #tags do actually help a cause but only one out of every say 100? The rest are just piles upon piles of egotistical, egocentric, extrovert, self-seeking, selfish tags. (Feel free to #tag each individual word.) This reminds me of a certain dance movie I watched, where in the dance camp there was this super famous dance crew and the lead #tagged everything. As you can guess I didn’t finish watching the movie.
#MirrorNotLie #BathroomSelfies are some of the more annoying tags I encounter on a daily basis. Since you can’t beat them let me add a few #tags and hope they will pick pace and trend okay? #LavatoryLove #FaecalFacts #GOTPeeson1 #CeramicThrone #ShittySounds #Dr.Poo #GreatFartscapade Do I continue or stop? So far three main sites are responsible for the #tag phenomena HeadBook the Social networking site, that chirping micro blogging site Chirp Chirp! With its red sparrow and the extroverts’ paradise InstaGlam the photo-showcasing site.
Post photos all you like but don’t make the #tags take up more space than the photo itself. If the madness had been contained in the Internet I would not be really mad but when it spills over to WorstApp I scream. Then some of you have #tags so ingrained in you that even in SMSs I receive #Mpesa #OkoaJahazi #Kisses #IKR #I’mSleepy, and my agent sends a text saying “End month is approaching #RentCollectionManenos”, this is where as the Deity of the Universe of Infinite I become stark raving mad. #tags in texts? Come on! What next? #tags in speech and conversation.
Sandra: Hi dad so I managed to create the mountain ranges in the third planet though not as high as the Himalayas
Me: Hi there Sandra I am proud of you. #FatherDaughterIntellect I see. Well you are the daughter of the #DUI
Sandra: Uhm Okay. By the way your citizens miss you already they ask when will you be back.
Me: I #Miss them too. Tell them tomorrow is a #PublicHoliday and they can have #FunTime with #Family #Friends and #Bae.
Sandra: Okay I will try and do that but are you okay?
Me: I definitely am #Healthy just #WorkingOut #NoDoctor.
Sandra: Dad are you sure you haven’t caught one of those weird human diseases? What’s with all the #tagging in our conversation?
Me: #NeverBeenBetter #JustSpeakingLocalLanguage #GottaGo #LoveYou and #TTYL
She hung up on me before I got to the #GottaGo tag. That conversation was not only #Ridiculous but also #Crazy #Insanity #Idiotic. She sent me a #tag free text telling me that she predicts that human communication shall revert to grunts, hieroglyphs and cave paintings very soon. Your voice boxes shall become vestigial organs and your mouths shall be for eating and maybe kissing if any of you shall remember how to do it. But I am sure you will just Googol it. Not that #ICare what happens to the #HumanRace. It is your pathetic miserable lives anyway not mine.
Until Next time from your Introverted yet Man of the People and Observant Deity of the Universe of Infinite and Hashtag free being: