Love, ardour, benevolence, philia
Take a moment and give me your ear’
Indifference, apathy, nonchalance,
Let me take this chance;
To subliminally release
With hardly any ease
That which troubles my inner calm
Though you ought to be my soothing balm.
Of emotional sorts
That I can take up in minute shots
In the troubled sea.
At first it was all merry bliss.
As I received your first kiss.
Was a pillar in my emotional mess;
A sturdy anchor
That could hold down an 18-wheeler tanker.
It was rainbows and unicorns
Though even love has its pros and cons.
Now though I have a diff’ story to tell
A sound reminiscent of the death knell.
I drop two coins in the wishing well
Hear the peal of the church bell’;
Was what I want
Though now I have no choice but to punt.
Now it’s all indifference
Better if it were hate aversion,
Take the decision
Out of empathy.
‘Cause it was once said
“The opposite of love is not hate,
I’ll just reiterate
Better I hate
Than you to Coventry I send.
I hope you get to read this
I don’t want you to be perplex’
Puzzle, baffle, gravel or vex.
It’s as clear as day and night
That very soon you might
Lose what you love for good
I should stop this if I could
But the ball now is in your park
So decide how you’ll throw it back.
Just won’t quite;
you us in deciding what’s right.
Let’s all talk and bare our feeling’
And know what hand we’ll next be dealing…
I think I love, I think I hate,
This feeling in me up to date,
I try to smother, I try to crush,
This feeling akin to a sugar rush
When you see me, when I see you,
Oh the things I wish to do!
Just me and you
My lovely beau..
Yet in my mind,
It ain’t hard to find,
The part in me that’s carefree
Doesn’t care, and will dare
To easily forget thee..
I’m a human that I agree
All these emotions causing a storm in the sea
Though mainly two are foremost
The rest are just but lurking ghost’
Stoical and altruistic those are one side
Cynical and sarcastic these two won’t hide..
Though for now my mind is at ease
For the moment I have mind of peace
Or peace of mind
For the time being I will find..
Back to the shadows I go,
I let the darkness flow,
Meld to the darkness,
To stifle this sadness
Of My existence denied, therefore I am exiled,
I’m a nobody, Acknowledged by none
This feelings of worthlessness weigh like a tonne,
From within I am weak
From without I can’t seek
In the inside I am but dead
To the outside I am just dead
So as I am dead to all and me
What’s to stop my soul running free?..
Death is once again the only way,
For I don’t want to see another day..
You can judge me I really don’t care
For its too late I’m already there..
Past the point of no return
Where playing dead is more than fun..
Do I blame you, no I can’t..
Though it is really your blame..
It is ironical,
That at the beginning,
I decide to end;
Nothing but whimsical,
Do my emotions send,
To my brain, to my body
Like a shot of hot toddy.
Every movement, every motion
Causing a mental remotion
More of an indevotion.
Shall come to a fatal attraction…
Therefore full speed ahead
Until I’m dead
As my Nindou
I’ll not give up..
As I sit down on the chair,
Thoughts clash here and there,
Up and down, left and right
Dusk to dawn, morn’ to night.
All bottled up in my skull,
Oh! How I wish, a peaceful lull
Would settle over me
Like a typhoon,
These emotions won’t let me be.
Just cause I promised to wait;
I pray you answer before its too late.
Tell me its love or tell me its hate.
As simple as that
Like swinging a bat.
My mistake saying I’d wait till you respond.
However my resonance
Then: Isn’t resonating with my intelligence,
When: You give me mixed signals,
Not wanting to say yes
Though keeping me close to shore.
I’m not a ship to be docked and docked
I’m in a quagmire,
And I tire,
Trapped in quicksand, the more I struggle
The deeper I sink.
Yet should I stay still,
What will you think?
Sugar Plum set me free once and for all,
The work is small,
I’ll come to you when you call
But please break this bonds of emotion
For to you I have devotion.
I’ll keep my promises
No matter the mess
That I’ll get in.
My wish I you do so, soon
I only do this once a blue moon,
And the moon is turning white,
Very soon it will shine bright
What you are trying to forestall….