The Count VII WordPress.com site

Posts tagged ‘introverted’

OF SOCIAL MEDIA & MEDIUMS

Yes I am at it again, another rant and rave of your only Deity of the Universe of Infinite. I was going to brush this under the carpet but when it affected my gigai I couldn’t turn a deaf eye nor a blind ear to the matter anymore. Want to guess what my issue is? Guess you wouldn’t given a million years. Before I vent my frustration at the regression of the human race more specifically the Sapiens sapiens species, let us take a short walk through History. Yes yes, I am allowed to do that as Time falls under Infinity. And no it isn’t time travel so wipe that Mephistophelean smile off your face, I don’t want to have real live Dr. Whos and Rose Tylers.

The year will be 1876 and the smart ones already know. Yes your mental projections will be visiting Sir Alexander Graham Bell; the father of the telephone. The Aegyptopithecus to the smart phone you hold in your palm now. He patented the first practical working telephone. However, though the inventor or not depending on what history you listen to, he found the telephone a nuisance and kept it in his study. Though not evolved he could still see its danger.

Fast forward to the future. Now I know many of you are sharpening your pitchforks and stoking the fire ready for a witch-hunt or more appropriately a deity hunt, hoping to catch me and roast me well well-done. I would tell you to save your energy but you wouldn’t listen. Just like all the witches you burned during the Dark Ages who lied to you they died?

Tags, more so #tags are my pet peeve. The humans of this era are so into their Smartphone that one would be forgiven for thinking that Smartphones are their deities while in realty they are theirs stakes.

fb_20160925_00_10_15_saved_picturefb_20160925_00_10_57_saved_picture

Likes comments and hash tags are the lifeline of such. When Bell made the telephone, he had no idea that the # would gain such prominence. Even the * button isn’t that button anymore. All that is left is for all mobile phones to unanimously agree that there should be a dedicated # button like the windows key on most comps

fb_20160925_00_11_23_saved_picture

#Bell #telephony #Blogging #Writinginbed #Coffee #cofeeholic #Righthandwriting #Multitasking #Textingbae #history #research #MondayBlues #BedManenos #PhilosophicalTings (Yes I wrote tings instead of things) #MyBrainBetterThanYours #WritingIsBae #BloggingIsBae #ThoughtsUnderAMosquitoNet #AfterSundayTings #I’mSoSmart #HP #TypingInBed #DUI #DILLIC?

Yes all those #tags apply to this gigai as he types away. Seriously? You don’t #GiveADamn and I #Don’tCare. Very soon, the # in any tag shall be counted as a separate word in essays et al. #Change.

Look, you might think that #tagging makes you look all cool and such but honey baby, honey is only delicious to lick the first four times after that you get sick of it. It just shows your; yes your level of intellect and maturity is at #AllTimeLow. Yes some #tags do actually help a cause but only one out of every say 100? The rest are just piles upon piles of egotistical, egocentric, extrovert, self-seeking, selfish tags. (Feel free to #tag each individual word.) This reminds me of a certain dance movie I watched, where in the dance camp there was this super famous dance crew and the lead #tagged everything. As you can guess I didn’t finish watching the movie.

#MirrorNotLie #BathroomSelfies are some of the more annoying tags I encounter on a daily basis. Since you can’t beat them let me add a few #tags and hope they will pick pace and trend okay? #LavatoryLove #FaecalFacts #GOTPeeson1 #CeramicThrone #ShittySounds #Dr.Poo #GreatFartscapade Do I continue or stop? So far three main sites are responsible for the #tag phenomena HeadBook the Social networking site, that chirping micro blogging site Chirp Chirp! With its red sparrow and the extroverts’ paradise InstaGlam the photo-showcasing site.

Post photos all you like but don’t make the #tags take up more space than the photo itself. If the madness had been contained in the Internet I would not be really mad but when it spills over to WorstApp I scream. Then some of you have #tags so ingrained in you that even in SMSs I receive #Mpesa #OkoaJahazi #Kisses #IKR #I’mSleepy, and my agent sends a text saying “End month is approaching #RentCollectionManenos”, this is where as the Deity of the Universe of Infinite I become stark raving mad. #tags in texts? Come on! What next? #tags in speech and conversation.

 

Sandra: Hi dad so I managed to create the mountain ranges in the third planet though not as high as the Himalayas

Me: Hi there Sandra I am proud of you. #FatherDaughterIntellect I see. Well you are the daughter of the #DUI

Sandra: Uhm Okay. By the way your citizens miss you already they ask when will you be back.

Me: I #Miss them too. Tell them tomorrow is a #PublicHoliday and they can have #FunTime with #Family #Friends and #Bae.

Sandra: Okay I will try and do that but are you okay?

Me: I definitely am #Healthy just #WorkingOut #NoDoctor.

Sandra: Dad are you sure you haven’t caught one of those weird human diseases? What’s with all the #tagging in our conversation?

Me: #NeverBeenBetter #JustSpeakingLocalLanguage #GottaGo #LoveYou and #TTYL

She hung up on me before I got to the #GottaGo tag.  That conversation was not only #Ridiculous but also #Crazy #Insanity #Idiotic. She sent me a #tag free text telling me that she predicts that human communication shall revert to grunts, hieroglyphs and cave paintings very soon. Your voice boxes shall become vestigial organs and your mouths shall be for eating and maybe kissing if any of you shall remember how to do it. But I am sure you will just Googol it. Not that #ICare what happens to the #HumanRace. It is your pathetic miserable lives anyway not mine.

fb_20160925_00_12_01_saved_picturefb_20160914_17_42_31_saved_picture

Until Next time from your Introverted yet Man of the People and Observant Deity of the Universe of Infinite and Hashtag free being:

 

#GOODBYE

Of Annoying Travel Habits

Okay so this is another rant and rave of no one else but your favourite deity of the universe of infinite..

I’m still stuck on this crabby planet as my SPIRIT beam is still sulking; and my daughter,is still trying to open a safe portal for me to use..

Hence while around I have to put up with human peculiarities and eccentricities.. Now due to the limitations of my gigai I don’t have access to my second favourite mode of personal transport. My first is teleportation; what did you expect? Deities love teleporting considering it is one of the few black areas in human scientific progression.. My second is slipstream.. I actually made this up for those days when I am too lazy to teleport..

What is slipstream?. Well slipstreaming is on earth the concept where you travel directly behind something ahead of you to reduce air friction, right?. Well Slipstream is the same except this time I manipulate gravity. Gravity in this case instead of pulling and holding me down it goes ahead of me and instead pulls me forward.. All it requires is telepathic connection.. Its like a burst of speed or a nitrous boost.. I think you can loosely compare it to Body Flicker Technique or Shunpo (flash step) though Slipstream is using gravity to thy advantage..

So anyway back to my issue as I can’t use Slipstream I have to be content with PTS- public transport systems.. Now where I am currently there are this 14-seater and 33-seater minivans that ferry people from point A to Z- or something like that..

Well I boarded one and sat at the window seat per se.. Now my gigai is relatively small so I don’t take much space, however, some people take that as an excuse to encroach on me personal space (see previous post).. So this humungous Cyclops decides to set his corpse next to me. He eats up his share of the seat and takes up half of mine. Then he opens his legs wide. I can’t take it so I put up resistance and open the window wide open. Usually I open the window to tick off people.. I noticed that you humans love shutting the windows when the vehicle is moving. Well I leave the window open and usually when someone asks me to shut the window, I smile at them and innocently say the window is stuck. The result is usually they move to another seat. Then there are those hot headed imbeciles who mannerlessly shut the window without asking me. Well I mannerlessly open it again and glare at the perpetrator. Again I achieve the same result. Next time you sit next to me and notice I open the window just know you aren’t welcome.

Mr. Cyclops noticed my resistance and he tried to behave. Fortunately he alighted later on. Unfortunately I had another issue in the same vehicle. Have you ever noticed how, smelly socks and chips travel faster than sound in an enclosed area?. Well someone and I assume a Venetian was eating chips and the smell engulfed the vehicle; that was another reason I opened the window. Now I have no problem with eating food but please be conscious of others. Maybe some are allergic to your food, or maybe you are rubbing salt to someone’s wounds by eating in a vehicle and yet the person is fasting either willingly or unwillingly.

If you must really eat in a public vehicle, there are snacks for that matter. By snacks I mean sweets, chewing gum, chocolates, crisps, biscuits and cookies et al. No I will not mention cakes.

Now that brings me to another weird habit. Why would a grown person after chewing gum, place it under the seat of the vehicle?. Or inside the seat cover? Then also those of you (me excluded) who happen to find those gums in those hard to reach areas, just what were you doing there in the first place?. Along that line, there was a time it was mandatory for PTS to have wastebaskets in them. I wonder why?. I have issues with someone who after unwrapping their goods decides to dump the wrapper in the vehicle. Mys bag has a compartment for my trash. I hate littering I’d rather carry it in my bag then drop it off at the nearest trash site.

Another pet peeve, you newspaper readers, text readers and basically jobless passengers. Now I am not the type to read newspapers in a PTS because one I never buy them, I read them at work. However, I once sat next to a pretty Venetian who was reading a paper, and no I wasn’t reading along with her. I fund it rude to read someone else’s paper.. However, the Venetian had the paper spread open covering my left leg and to make matters worse I saw her sneaking glances at me to see whether I was reading it too.. Why do that?. I mean just open the paper and then fold it and read in peace. That’s why I love reading novels in PTS.

Next, are basically your secret phone reviewers. I mean what else can I call someone who reads your texts or watches whatever you’re doing on your OWN phone?. Even as I am typing this I happen to have quite an audience of a Venetian.. I understand that travelling in a vehicle is really boring at times, but if you have nothing to do please don’t do it next to me. I love my privacy and seeing you constantly checking my phone surreptitiously is tantamount to stalking and privacy invasion. Next time carry a book or something to keep your idle mind occupied. Or like I do, carry your earphones and plug them in to your handset and listen to either your playlist or the radio.

Speaking of that, there are some certain people who think that we all want to listen to their music, so they’ll honour us by playing their music on speaker.. I mean come on if I wanted loud music I’d definitely not board a quiet peaceful bus.

Along that line, I know that some of us are pretty important people, importing cars, or having contacts with important and powerful people in society. I mean, hey I am Deity of the Universe of Infinite too so I understand your undying and life-threatening need to broadcast to every Tom Dick and Harriette about your life. But please try to control those impulsive urges. Some of us are really not interested in listening to your ‘Interesting’ life in buses. If you really must, then start a reality show like the Kardashians..
Some time back I happened to sit at the back right of a 14-seater PTS vehicle. A lady dressed in an office suit next to me and a young man sat at the back left. When the lady alighted I happened to be looking out and I saw the young man pull it his phone and discreetly lower it to the ladies hemline, camera side up. Yes he was taking a panty-shot of the lady. I just looked straight ahead asking myself whether I was taking part in an Ecchi manga. The guy was older than me and yet doing such high school antics. The lady never noticed, fortunately for him. However you Venetians need to be on the lookout for ecchi people out there..
Preachers. Yes you so called preachers. I have nothing wrong with you propagating your religious views but please not in the PTS and definitely not in the morning. Some of us are still sleepy. And funny enough why is it only Christian preachers on board?. I’m yet to see a Muslim preacher in a bus or even better a Hindu, Sikh, Shinto, Tao or Traditional African preachers doing their share too.. If that’s it I think I, being a deity should also start a preaching campaign in PTS though I really don’t know what my followers will be worshipping. ‘Cause I am just a humble deity, not seeking recognition anywhere.

Back to the preachers, do they all assume that all passengers on board are of one religion, denomination or even believe in the existence of a heavenly beings?. To prevent poisoning of my mind, I started walking with earphones all over. In fact once or twice I irked some preachers by looking directly in their eyes and putting on my earphones. One of them even commented saying, “some of you are now putting on their earphones but God’s….” I managed to press play. I don’t mean to be rude but I am a jealous deity. I definitely am not going to listen to the sermons from another god. There is a reason why I am “Deity of the Universe of Infinite”.

The worst habit of all are the conversationistas.. And there are two types.

Type Alpha: These type are loudmouthed individuals who talk to everyone from their seat. Meaning they shout and have loud banter with everyone. These type are very dangerous because they get everyone talking about whatever topic they bring up. Be it ball, politics, or the latest social issue they know it all. Typically they are extroverts. Good thing is I usually drown them out of my hearing with my ever handy earphones.

Type Beta: These type are the most dangerous to me. Yes they are your seat mates in the PTS who strike a conversation with you. My mama taught me never to talk to strangers. My introversion teaches me mot to talk to anyone unless really needed.. So when you nonchalantly start talking to me I get bored.. Hello! The earphones are usually conversation stoppers. But on the rare occasion that you manage to chat me up before this deity plugs in then know that I’m just too kind to turn you off..
Well until next time ciao..

Of Personal Space as an Introverted Deity

“If currency was abolished…..” Man, Money and Mannerism by Dr. Nnekwa

This being is a troubled being. Other than my SPIRIT Beam not working, other than still being stuck on this planet, other than having to,find a job to,maintain my gigai, I have to put up with violation and invasion of my personal space.

Everyone has a certain space that they consider Holy of Holies. Its radius might be as long as the Great Wall of China for we introverts or as narrow as the space between the nucleus and the innermost energy level of an atom for our polar opposites and extreme sided nexus mates; extroverts. Either way we all have that personal sphere surrounding us where we wouldn’t want any Tom Dick or Harriette to cross into.

For most if not all, that personal space is usually physical in nature. However, for me as the Deity of the Universe of Infinite, my personal space isn’t limited to the physical aspect only. Yes I detest skinship of many types more so PDA (see previous post). Don’t get me wrong, this Deity doesn’t want to be clubbed in with the OCD and neat freak perfectionists. On the contrary I have HTL for most things -High Tolerance Levels. As a Deity I know that it is next to impossible for my gigai not to physically interact with you beings. Therefore I have an almost non-existent physical personal space.

However, please don’t jump the gun and assume I am an extrovert. I have stratified zones that not even my HTL can accommodate for any intrusion. Following the Universal Law of Balance aka as Give and Take, where I am lacking in personal space I make up with it hundredfold in other areas. My next to nil PPS is replaced by my APS- Abstract Personal Space. In this case APS includes but not limited to Emotional, Intellectual, Spiritual and Moral spaces. Abstract because these spaces can’t be touched nor felt physically..

My gigai is adept in extrapolation using scatter points available in any scenario. Today my rant and rave as Deity of the Universe of Infinite is going to touch on the Moral and Ethical Personal Space – MEPS.

Yes I get it, you are all proud of your lineage to a certain tribe. Wow! Yay! Hooray! If that’s the case then let me also tell you how special my gigai is I mean it is the only one that descended from Adam and Eve. Pshaw! Go eat a blade and hang. Don’t forcefeed me your baseless tribal pride. In one of my posts I mentioned having joined a new workplace. Well I found myself in an uncharted waters and though you humans say, when you go to Romania do as the Romanians do (or something like that); I disagree.

To begin with, following the unhealthy and negative effects that being tribal in certain places brings, I am never interested to know your tribe. Let is get that straight as a light ray!. I will reiterate, I bloody don’t care what tribe you are. I might or might not have a few preferential tribes and funny enough the tribe of my gigai is one that I personally don’t care about so I am not loyal to it. You’ll catch me dead looking for my gigai’s countrymen. Tribe however is never a factor for me when choosing my acquaintances, associates, friends nor enemies. It is your personality that will determine into which category you’ll be placed. Therefore I entreat you to please respect my MEPS; the same way I don’t ask your tribe please don’t try to ask mine.

Here at my current workplace, within the first week, every Tom Dick and Harriette tried to know my tribe either directly or indirectly. The direct ones ask what trobe I am and I tell them I’m a city slicker. Proudly born and raised in the city. Others tried to ask my parents birthplace and I tell them they both are city kids. For the indirect,ones they would ask what my full name is. When I introduce myself I usually give my first name only. So they think they are smart enough to ask my surname. Unfortunately for them my surname wont give you even a hint of my tribe. I thank my mum for my first name- most people think I am English because of it. I thank the government for misspelling my middle name because now it sound Russian. Finally I thank my dad for his surname because it isn’t even African in nature.

With that said, I hear some of you saying Tha I am not proud of my tribe. I say go hang!. Yes my tribal cocoon isn’t my forte. To begin with I don’t know my,mother tongue and I am proud of that. Yes in this modern world there are lingua franca that help in development; English, French, Italian, Mandarin, Swahili, German and let us not forget my favourite Japanese et al. The world is a global village and using mother tongue to communicate will only work back at your villages. Following the Law of Balance, when my mother tongue was discarded, my English had a chance to rapidly improve and interest in other languages was born. Right now I’m into Nippo.

Let us be real, you just want to know my tribe for your evil intentions. I hope 2007 hasn’t been forgotten. Of my Deity powers could work here id male everyone learn and speak in Latin. The 18th-20th Century education systems had it right by including Latin in their curriculum. Latin would be the de facto language. Your persistent tribal questions encroach on my MEPS.. If you want to be tribal please keep me out of it. I believe nakama are more important than tribe after all don’t you humans say that there exists a friend sticking closer than a sister- or something like that?

The next time a primitive primordial Neanderthal asks me for my tribe, I’ll grunt back at him/her; punch the inquirer in the face or bat my eyelashes like a damsel at the person while sweetly saying, “Wouldn’t you like to know?”. It will depend on my mood at the moment. Unfortunately some people in my close circle are tribal to am extent but I usually turn a deaf eye and blind ear to their remarks. My mission isn’t to change your tribal perspectives bit in the same way don’t encroach on MEPS virgin land..
Signing off until next rant and rave this is a Disconcerted Free Deity of the Universe of Infinite and Tribeless Man of the People..

Memories of Future Past

Back when I was a boy

Discovering the universe

I shouted ‘Dreams Ahoy!’

Up from my wooden mas’

I swam up to the land

Of Image Nation

And man did I feel grand;

The rush of exaltation

Of unlocking such power

Like I’d ascended God’s Tower

And hence I started creating

My Universe of infinite

By which through it

I now live my life

Aloof to earthly strife.

Though I do regret

The dreams I did create.

Most didn’t see the light of reality day

And died as soon as I opened my mouth to say.

I wanted to heal with all my zeal,

Help the ones with malady’ and ill’

But the bloody call

Wouldn’t even for a minute stall

Or give me space to catch up in the race

So down the drain

With utter disdain

That fleeting dream

A mirage it did seem.

Next on to prose-thetics

Mind’s version of calisthenics

As I dreamed of imagining

Of writing the next big thing

But came the e publishers

And they became dream banishers.

Next port-o-call, heuristics dispensing

Was nothing more than fencing.

Enter hospitality, with all my naivety

Led to mental fatality.

Tried my hand at drawing

But my works will not be showing

At any art gallery

Maybe just the dustbins in a backstreet alley.

Well the list could go on

Though for now my memories are worn.

Bigfoot in Andes

South, North, West and East

In this jungle lies a beast

It roars and tramples on the ground

Its footsteps make hardly a sound

Its appearance is so scary

That even the field mouse won’t be wary.

It’s deadly paws cause quite a gash

Though through the underbrush

It will dash

If it hears the war sound clash.

When other animals spot it, it trembles

And if it were possible it would grovel

To avoid confrontation

And the feeling of consternation

Welling up deep inside

As it finds a cave to hide.

This wild animal

That aint a Hannibal

But a three year old at the carnival

Who’s lost his parents at the festival

Is just me

And that is the way things will be

Invisibility

Invisibility
The art of zero divisibility
Take yourself
Divide by zero
Whether you be an elf
Or better yet a hero..
So the mathematician says undefined
That to me means redefined
So he says multiply
But to me that’s a far cry
For existence cannot be multiplied by noting
Therefore my calculation
Will just bring
Chaos and misunderstanding
So do I just say invisibility
Is the art of zero visibility?

Thoughts on Life

Life is but like a journey
But not through the land of milk and honey
Rather through land of snow and frost
Liken to the permafrost tundra
Where one can easily get lost.
Like the immortal hydra
Troubles are never ending,
Solve this one two pop up.
Heal this one and another break up…..
So life is but likened to a journey…
A journey must end so what’s life’s end?.
Is it the Final Destination,
That you see round the bend?
Then what’s the purpose of life if it is just to die?
Or has my whole life been a lie?
Either way
Its not for me to say
But I will
For its still
The elephant in the room
That gives the foreboding doom
Where life is, dear must follow
Well now you know..

Tag Cloud