The Count VII site

Posts tagged ‘romance’

Goldilocks and the Three Bears

No this story isn’t about a pretty little girl outsmarting a fox…. Uhm.. Wrong story.. Let me bring that up again.. This story isn’t about a pretty girl dropping her glass slipper and marrying a prince.. I have it wrong again.. One last time.. No! This story isn’t about a pretty little girl having golden flowing locks heading to the woods and having to make a choice from three in other words meaning sampling.

Rather, it is about a young man’s quest in life to find a suitable partner. This might have an allusion to Princess and the frog, Princess and the pea et al.

Once upon a time, not so long ago, there lived a young boy named Sinclair. Sinclair was a quiet, nerdy, introverted boy, who mainly kept to himself and books. His primary school life was one of education and a few friendships here and there. Other than a few secret crushes, he had no love life.

Enter secondary and Sinclair could no longer smother the urges to get himself a mate. His first real girlfriend was a young lady that he met up with at a library during the midyear holidays; just before his final exams.

Within a week, he had managed to get the lady’s admiration and loyalty. However, his first relationship was a long distant one. He himself being staunch nonbeliever in long-distant, it wasn’t bound to work. The loosely knit relationship was formally terminated two years later on.

Other crushes came and went before finally settling on the first Princess called Dorothy. The two met at The world of I and O (1s and 0s), During a Social Interaction platform. What started off as a post, led to a castle invitation. What Sinclair liked about Princess Dorothy was she had attained a whooping 92% of his dream girl expectations.

Princess Dorothy in physique was small in body size and short. She had a cute smile, natural hair, wore spectacles as Sinclair, had a high sense of humour, smart both streetwise and bookwise. The two both had slightly complicated family backgrounds and tyrannical mothers. Their compatibility from Sinclair’s viewpoint was an average 85%.

Unfortunately, like most relationships happening in cyberspace it didn’t last long. After two face to face meetings, Princess Dorothy broke off the relationship due to a reason of vague nature..

Sinclair didn’t believe it as the real reason. However, the heartbreak and pain he suffered was too much. The following four months were the most excruciating period of his life. Day in, day out, he still thought of her.

When he realised she was gone for good, he reacted by encamping himself in a citadel having hypo-Jerusalem Gates height walls; hypo-Great Wall of China strength. Up went brick, then stone, titanium, diamond, platinum and finally borazon walls to encircle his heart and protect it from any other pain.

Two years later, Sinclair tentatively cut a window sized hole through the walls and allowed a commoner sobriqueted Sandra to “own” his heart. However, using his newly unlocked, self-defensive extrapolative powers, he could see the relationship couldn’t work out.. Sure enough it didn’t.

A year later Princess Mary entered the picture. Other than the height issue, Princess Mary was the second best candidate after Dorothy. Funny enough, Mary surpassed Dorothy especially in one area; Sinclair and Mary belonged to the same Religious Order.

Sinclair loved this Princess to the extent that he claimed Princess Mary was the only one he would think of marrying. The only issue was Princess Mary was a tad too young to be given off to marriage to anyone at that particular moment.

Using his extrapolative skills, he deducted the line of best fit and calculated that Princess Mary would never be his. Knowing that he deliberately hatched a plot to fall in love with another and wait for it to be broken.

Fortunately or unfortunately, depending on which end of cupid’s arrow you are on, just because Sinclair had exceptional extrapolative skills didn’t mean he had exceptional planning skills. So he never did manage to have his heart invaded and violated, as much as he rolled out the red carpet for any nearby camping armies.

Old Father Time heals, so they say; Sinclair soon got over Princess Mary with time.

Exit two Princess, left with one; Princess Cindy. The “affair” or to be affair with Cindy was doomed to fail from the very start. Reason was, Sinclair had compromised too much. Cindy attained a measly 30% compared to Dorothy’s 92%.

Cindy was sub-standard yet Sinclair decided to go for her just because he was lonely and desperate. Yes to be fair, he even did things out of the way to please Cindy, but he even knew it wouldn’t work. Princess Cindy on the other hand didn’t want to push Sinclair away too far but also didn’t want to let him get close.

Sinclair knew this and though a number of times he made situations where the best and only way out was for Princess Cindy to dump him she never played that card. Well Sinclair might be a ‘baka’ when it comes to romance but he ain’t in real life. Slowly he pulled away, raising the anchor and drifted away from Princess Cindy.

So now after being Goldilocks and not finding just the right porridge, chair and finally bed to sleep in, he has decided instead of going to another house or cave and start sampling again, he is single and this time for good. After all, from his extrapolates he knows very well there won’t be another Princess Dorothy and his extrapolation has never failed him. Once again, his heart has been locked up in that citadel and now has electric fencing, CCTV surveillance cameras and two rare Transylvanian creatures guarding it. If you are a damsel enough, have fun saving the Knight in shining armour. And no it isn’t the other way around.

A Story of a Story; Me and Her

This is what Romance told about me..
[Aeons back, when I was but a young youth, I fell in love with a damsel. We met on a social network  during the autumn season. Aphrodite sent me her gifts and made me like HER. HER was a fine young lassie straight from high school- but we liked each other from the very start. She was my type, short, funny, spex-wearing, and the only lady that understood me well apart from those whom I monikered the BIG 4. We hit it on very well until all my friends knew I was love drunk. The great infallible love-hating Tungsten Chloride (WC) was in love. We met in October then and I truly fell in love. Finally November came along and I spent time with her before  she had to travel. That Sunday was the best of my life. I remember my friends telling me never to attach myself to her. Oh! How I wish I had listened. The next day we never talked but at night on the social network we did. Apparently she had a prob with me- a very minor issue. I tried and cried to let her give me a chance- finally she did. But my patroness Pallas Athene Of The Flashing Eyes and Mighty Olympian Zeus played a dirty trick and made her to send me a ‘gift’. After that I said never again will I fall in love. I went through a lot of pain that month. Aegis-wearing Athene felt pity on me and send my BFF the lovely blonde Tracy to comfort me. Tracy helped me board the Singles’ Xpress and there I will remain. The only thing that bothered me was I never found out the real reason for our break up- as the reason she gave me, only a donkey will buy. If you want to torture a journalist/ author hide the truth from him- I still have not found the reason. Tracy, Athene, Fantasy and Magic, they know why but they refuse to tell me. Up till now I’ll never trust womenfolk unless they are my creations. All because of one girl.]
Well Nursery Rhyme and Poetry had tears in there eyes. Mystery looked at me: ‘The mystery of the love affair.’
Drama shook his head sympathetically as Horror patted my back. Magic sneered at me while Romance knew that she and I would never recline on the same table. You wonder about my two favourites- Thriller and Suspense? They knew the story from before. Sci-Fi looked at me bored then took out an I-wrist -a device that was a comp, phone, music-player, video-player all in a silver-platinum bracelet. I-wrist will be available in the near future when I-pads will be phased out. Ne way he pressed play and took out mini-earphones.
I wiped a tear and Floetry saw me. She got up and said: ‘I had accused Novellah Synthesis of being heartless person. I mean he created Horror Fiction. But from his experience with HA he shed a tear that had so much emotion. I take back my words after all you are the father of Romance.’
She raised her golden buttercup and toasted whence we all drank to our future. The bluebells rang as everyone left. Thriller and Suspense winked at me before vanishing- they knew my secret.
It will only be fair for me to tell you- the I-Wrist has a holograph player. I never shed a tear. Suspense came back and kissed my forehead: ‘Good night Daddy, and Fantasy told me to tel u she knows your future wife..



With that she vanished. Pshaw ati Tracy.. Fantasy no wonder the name suits you..
Anyway the lesson learnt is/ moral of the story is:




A Story of a Story; A Miss by a Mile

I called upon Romance to step up which she did. She was my main defense witness as you guessed right. She began with retelling about the first lovers Adam and Eve in Eden. After that Floetry pointed out that in my heartless self I chased them away from Eden by making them eat the fruit. I defended myself by stating that an even greater Author wrote down that story, not me. Romance then moved from love story to another- from Rapunzel to Bella to Snow White to Ariel to Romeo and Julliet, Joseph and Mary down to Julius Caesar and Cleopatra. Paris and Helena of Troy can’t be left out. You wonder how I survived? Well before I mention my reactions- Western was the only male enjoying it. Horror ironically viewed these stories as horror. Crime was busy formulating his next heist for the Pentagon. Thriller my favourite was far away in his mind, his sister was enjoying the stories for the two siblings at times collaborated to write a story. Drama was the only male who was gentlemanly enough to listen though it was evident upon closer inspection that he was struggling. Detective, Mystery, Fantasy and Magic being ladies, inclined there ears. That left me and Sci-Fi. We both had a device that filtered out the mushy parts- more like a censor on your telly-telly bunkum boxes or shnookum boxes-radio. These are the times I am glad I have him as the youngest child.

On the other side
Floetry, Poetry and N. Rhyme had tears in their eyes… Hmph women. Now the debate would have ended there and I would have attained a sweet and easy victory proving I had feelings. However, remember earlier mentioning the two powerful sisters? Well there is cold war between Science and Magic– dating aeons back

[Magic used to be very powerful,but when Science Snr. came along her influence reduced. This was because Science Snr. always worked with facts and always proved with logic and evidence. Magic however couldn’t and so people embraced moved to him. Then came the Church which gained power over the two. Had the two antagonists joined forces, church would never have been strong but water and paraffin can not mix. Hence, magni and scientist were killed by the dozens. Science Snr. reacted by forming Illuminati. Magic didn’t see the use of that and so she suffered the most casualties while Science Snr. didn’t. Of course you know now Science Snr. is powerful and respected. Now Science Snr. had an affair with Fantasy and gave birth to Science Fiction.

Sci-Fi is like magic but of scientific nature. Now Sci-Fi is loved by many and not despised as Magic was- and here in lies cause of that cold war.].
Magic knew what we had done and she told Romance– of course she used her powers and tried to hide it, though me being her father I know all her tricks. Romance stared at me then opened a healing wound. It rent through my heart like red-hot no white-hot metal. Personally, I do not want to tell you, but my principles and the Interuniversal Information Dissemination and Archiving Guild Laws; which just so you know I wrote and created them myself, apply to all ME included. Besides Poetry will let the cat out of the bag- and women always draw the long bow.
Funny enough all my other children suddenly paid close attention as Romance begun the story on Me and Her. I will not name names here- author-pen-person confidentiality applies here..


A Story of a Story; The Gathering

The first to arrive was Mystery– she appeared just as her name suggests, mysteriously. She is one quiet lady never talking much leaving you guessing about her. Her eyes however had a sparkle to them but they were devious.
Unlike his quiet sister, Drama arrived with pomp and fanfare- shouting and having adrenalin rush incidental music. He was a tall fellow and handsome (his aesthetics is proof enough ask the ladies he attracts). He parked his black Harley Davidson and winked at Poetry.
Western, he came riding a dark wild stallion called Dark-Moon who neighed, and shook its head, its mane flying wildly across the bright moon. He disembarked took his lariat, and cocked his twin pistols. He clicked his boots and spun his spurs before heading over to us where he doffed his cowboy hat at the ladies.
‘Howdy pardna,’ he greeted Drama before seating on the grass.
A quiet young boy wearing angelic white lab coat and a pair of nerdy glasses arrived via a bright light. ‘Teleportation module active. Transferred from matrix A to B successfully.’ he muttered to himself- that’s Sci-Fi or Science Fiction.
Next was a dark-suited tall and thin man. He was dressed in a black suit from head to toe. He got out of his Alfa Romeo n unbuttoned his coat, two shoulder  pistols  visible- he was Crime.
As soon as he sat down, a young, sexy but determined lady drove up in a police car. Crime glared at her as she dusted her suit. She was Ms. Detective Fiction.
The two siblings exchanged daggers and sat opposite each other- the air was tense but only for a moment as lively Adventure dropped from the sky. He landed with a BANG! on Floetry and guffawed before greeting us all. He is a jolly but dangerously active child.
Then came along the twins Fantasy n Magic– both are sweet when in good tempers but woe unto those who crosses them- the two sisters are very powerful.
Thriller and Suspense the fraternical twins appeared- Thriller dived from a helicopter and released the parachute which he later tore away a few seconds later. He plunged down to earth and that would have been the end of him hadn’t he shot an inflatable mattress. He landed safely on it and winked Sci-Fi who smiled sheepishly. Suspense being a lady, didn’t do her brother’s antics and instead demurely stepped out of her exploding BMW. She blew me a kiss and sat besides her brother.

Finally Romance arrived on her dainty golden wings and floated down besides Poetry. She had in her hands, a golden lyre that matched with her golden hair. Her vibes filled the air and gave out an aura of peace- personally I never did like Romance, but she is my offspring and one must not hate on your kids. I prefer Thriller and Suspense very much- it isn’t favouring. I do not dislike the others though. Now we were about to begin the defense case when the black sheep of the Fiction Family showed up. Poetry, Floetry, Nursery Rhyme, Fantasy and Magic screamed louder than even his blood curdling, heart wrenching, ears shattering cries. He was a huge broad shouldered man having pale grey skin. His head tilted to one side. He had a missing eyeball and 1/2 his nose was missing. His right leg was whole but the left was pitiful remains of flesh and bone. A metal hacksaw stood out like a sore thumb on his head and dark red blood flowed freely from the open wound. Countless nails were hammered all over his body- Horror Fiction had arrived. Only Sci-Fi smiled warmly at him- even the rough and ready Western cringed at his sight..
I hugged him warmly and made him feel at home. The 3 ladies exchanged glances and nodded. I knew I had just given them three free points but I didn’t give a hoot..

A Story of a Story; The Argument

Well I weighed my chances and thought- I have the whole night but on the other hand all my children-my prosic creations- emphasize that a man will never win an argument against a woman. But I am a daredevil and I said I will prove that hypothesis wrong. So I sat down and gazed at Floetry through my pince-nez. The other two watched me as I pulled out my weapons- a blank scroll and a feather quill. With that I cleared my  throat and begun speaking as my words wrote themselves on the scroll.
{Which appeared first poetry or prose? It is poetry up to there I agree but prose is far much read than poetry. The ladies of course  had a problem with that. They ‘reasoned’ with me but I stood ground after all people do not talk in ‘poetry’ its in prose. I had the joy of seeing damsel Rhyme back me up,  though silently.
Floetry then challenged me to prove I had feelings. I have two sons- Fiction and Non-fiction. I called n Fiction’s children-Drama, Suspense, Adventure, Crime, Horror, Mystery, Sci-fi, Western, Thriller, Fantasy, Detective, Romance and Magic.. It wouldn’t do you justice if i didn’t describe my family, as they will affect the story.. So let me begin

Tag Cloud