OF SOCIAL MEDIA & MEDIUMS

Yes I am at it again, another rant and rave of your only Deity of the Universe of Infinite. I was going to brush this under the carpet but when it affected my gigai I couldn’t turn a deaf eye nor a blind ear to the matter anymore. Want to guess what my issue is? Guess you wouldn’t given a million years. Before I vent my frustration at the regression of the human race more specifically the Sapiens sapiens species, let us take a short walk through History. Yes yes, I am allowed to do that as Time falls under Infinity. And no it isn’t time travel so wipe that Mephistophelean smile off your face, I don’t want to have real live Dr. Whos and Rose Tylers.

The year will be 1876 and the smart ones already know. Yes your mental projections will be visiting Sir Alexander Graham Bell; the father of the telephone. The Aegyptopithecus to the smart phone you hold in your palm now. He patented the first practical working telephone. However, though the inventor or not depending on what history you listen to, he found the telephone a nuisance and kept it in his study. Though not evolved he could still see its danger.

Fast forward to the future. Now I know many of you are sharpening your pitchforks and stoking the fire ready for a witch-hunt or more appropriately a deity hunt, hoping to catch me and roast me well well-done. I would tell you to save your energy but you wouldn’t listen. Just like all the witches you burned during the Dark Ages who lied to you they died?

Tags, more so #tags are my pet peeve. The humans of this era are so into their Smartphone that one would be forgiven for thinking that Smartphones are their deities while in realty they are theirs stakes.

Likes comments and hash tags are the lifeline of such. When Bell made the telephone, he had no idea that the # would gain such prominence. Even the * button isn’t that button anymore. All that is left is for all mobile phones to unanimously agree that there should be a dedicated # button like the windows key on most comps

#Bell #telephony #Blogging #Writinginbed #Coffee #cofeeholic #Righthandwriting #Multitasking #Textingbae #history #research #MondayBlues #BedManenos #PhilosophicalTings (Yes I wrote tings instead of things) #MyBrainBetterThanYours #WritingIsBae #BloggingIsBae #ThoughtsUnderAMosquitoNet #AfterSundayTings #I’mSoSmart #HP #TypingInBed #DUI #DILLIC?

Yes all those #tags apply to this gigai as he types away. Seriously? You don’t #GiveADamn and I #Don’tCare. Very soon, the # in any tag shall be counted as a separate word in essays et al. #Change.

Look, you might think that #tagging makes you look all cool and such but honey baby, honey is only delicious to lick the first four times after that you get sick of it. It just shows your; yes your level of intellect and maturity is at #AllTimeLow. Yes some #tags do actually help a cause but only one out of every say 100? The rest are just piles upon piles of egotistical, egocentric, extrovert, self-seeking, selfish tags. (Feel free to #tag each individual word.) This reminds me of a certain dance movie I watched, where in the dance camp there was this super famous dance crew and the lead #tagged everything. As you can guess I didn’t finish watching the movie.

#MirrorNotLie #BathroomSelfies are some of the more annoying tags I encounter on a daily basis. Since you can’t beat them let me add a few #tags and hope they will pick pace and trend okay? #LavatoryLove #FaecalFacts #GOTPeeson1 #CeramicThrone #ShittySounds #Dr.Poo #GreatFartscapade Do I continue or stop? So far three main sites are responsible for the #tag phenomena HeadBook the Social networking site, that chirping micro blogging site Chirp Chirp! With its red sparrow and the extroverts’ paradise InstaGlam the photo-showcasing site.

Post photos all you like but don’t make the #tags take up more space than the photo itself. If the madness had been contained in the Internet I would not be really mad but when it spills over to WorstApp I scream. Then some of you have #tags so ingrained in you that even in SMSs I receive #Mpesa #OkoaJahazi #Kisses #IKR #I’mSleepy, and my agent sends a text saying “End month is approaching #RentCollectionManenos”, this is where as the Deity of the Universe of Infinite I become stark raving mad. #tags in texts? Come on! What next? #tags in speech and conversation.

 

Sandra: Hi dad so I managed to create the mountain ranges in the third planet though not as high as the Himalayas

Me: Hi there Sandra I am proud of you. #FatherDaughterIntellect I see. Well you are the daughter of the #DUI

Sandra: Uhm Okay. By the way your citizens miss you already they ask when will you be back.

Me: I #Miss them too. Tell them tomorrow is a #PublicHoliday and they can have #FunTime with #Family #Friends and #Bae.

Sandra: Okay I will try and do that but are you okay?

Me: I definitely am #Healthy just #WorkingOut #NoDoctor.

Sandra: Dad are you sure you haven’t caught one of those weird human diseases? What’s with all the #tagging in our conversation?

Me: #NeverBeenBetter #JustSpeakingLocalLanguage #GottaGo #LoveYou and #TTYL

She hung up on me before I got to the #GottaGo tag.  That conversation was not only #Ridiculous but also #Crazy #Insanity #Idiotic. She sent me a #tag free text telling me that she predicts that human communication shall revert to grunts, hieroglyphs and cave paintings very soon. Your voice boxes shall become vestigial organs and your mouths shall be for eating and maybe kissing if any of you shall remember how to do it. But I am sure you will just Googol it. Not that #ICare what happens to the #HumanRace. It is your pathetic miserable lives anyway not mine.

Until Next time from your Introverted yet Man of the People and Observant Deity of the Universe of Infinite and Hashtag free being:

 

#GOODBYE

THOUGHTS OF AN MI6 AGENT

Usually, I give a wide berth to social issues for where I reign (Universe of Infinite) such trivial matters are……….. Well trivial. However another issue scratched horribly at my eardrums in the Phantasmagoric Idyllic Lands. It got me gnashing my teeth both at its literal and hidden meaning.. Being an MI6 (Morals Inspector) Agent as well as a man of the people; I have empathy for all classes more so the so the Venetian species.. A certain sound clip doing rounds on social media just shows the rot in your minds and hearts.. The art of being an MI6 special agent is as ancient as the first man 👨 and woman 👩.. It is an honourable occupation along with the likes of (PHD) Professional Heuristic Dispensing, (MBA) Mind Body and Astral Counsellors better known as Healers, Doctors.. No, lawyers aren’t that honourable and with the crop of current doctors…… That’s topic for another day..
As far as I am an objective thinker, I am concerned, whatever fancy that tickles Tom Dick and Harriet, all humans have equal freedoms and rights, whether in Russia, Uganda, Syria, Australia, Japan, America, for weren’t we all created equally? However, let us use those rights properly by following our inbuilt compass called morals and the map called our conscience.. the case study let us use Mollis Nimeshoka clip that I shall moniker Operation Surrender.
I am a Moral Inspector being Deity of the Universe of Infinite there are things that I just can’t condone. Yes we have the right to do what we want but let us not abuse those privileges. I log into HandPen account only to see the newsfeed filled with ‘I salenda’ crapamacallit.
This Deity has a very high sense of humour, in fact someone once told me that I laugh when a fly passes me.. However, laughing at that Mollis clip just shows the moral decay and degradation taking place in society.. Just recently there was the My Dress My Choice campaign which though ostentatiously noble was nothing more than a façade for the Venetian species to try and defend themselves and still continue with their excuses.. And no this Deity wasn’t supporting the stripping of the ladies no matter how much they skimpily dressed. That was a classic case of corvus oculum corvi non eruit.
The person who uploaded the initial file on the net really has a sick and disgusting sense of humour or no morals at all. How do you first of all record such a clip and then proudly share it? Assuming you were a third party were you actually witnessing that act and sitting back calmly sipping on your mojito?. And if there was ni third party involved then the person who initially shared this should be arrested immediately. And if it is just a sound clip and nothing more to it, then you still need to be arrested for engaging in production and distribution of erotic and pornographic material..
Let me stop attacking the perpetrator now. My next battle front is YOU! Yes you.. Why fan the flames by listening and sending/sharing the file with every Jane, Mollis and Ondiek? If you get it by mistake, delete asap and breathe not a word to anyone about it.. Should anyone mention it to you, feign ignorance or outright tell them it isn’t worth your time.. Imagine that was you in that audio clip.. Walk a mile in that person’s shoes and taste for yourself. Imagine that person was your sister, wife, mother, aunt or amy female being close to you, would you still be proud listening and sharing it?. It wont hurt to stop and think fir a few seconds before doing something, be an objective thinker like myself.. Besides, that sounds just like rape/non-consensual sex to me.. Any normal and sane human would be disgusted by such outrageous behaviour..
Now now, I haven’t called anyone Deranged Neanderthal Primordial apes….
Finally my last rant goes to the government.. Its time for it to seriously invest in technology policing heavily.. Other than cyber security for hackers and all, what about the normal Wanjiku on the street?. Of late so many gossip blogs have sprung like mushrooms that for every legitimate site there will definitely be a two gossip blogs for it. The government should have stringent rules and monitor what is being uploaded and doing rounds in its cyberspace. No I don’t mean that we should have a Big Brother Is Watching kind of government but put policies that will stop propagation of content deemed harmful. Like that story about the high school girls found in flagrante delicto in a city bound bus having Canabis sativa in their undergarments. Whoever the photojournalist was their permit should be revoked for two things: First I’ll assume that gurl was a minor so showing her face for all to see is a violation if her rights regardless of her suspected crime. Secondly why in earth would you as a journalist take a photo of the girl in the NUDE? Isn’t that sexual crime?. This are the times u say that earthlings really need to re-evaluate themselves. I would have helped along that line but we haven’t yet established diplomatic relations with any earthly country so it will be light years before that happens.. However I will lend you my knowledge when needed for they say castigat ridendo mores.. Stay happy and be safe..
Until next time:
From a Concerned Being; An Objective Intellectual Introvert; , MI6 Agent, Deity of Universe of Infinite yet Man of the People..