OF SOCIAL MEDIA & MEDIUMS

Yes I am at it again, another rant and rave of your only Deity of the Universe of Infinite. I was going to brush this under the carpet but when it affected my gigai I couldn’t turn a deaf eye nor a blind ear to the matter anymore. Want to guess what my issue is? Guess you wouldn’t given a million years. Before I vent my frustration at the regression of the human race more specifically the Sapiens sapiens species, let us take a short walk through History. Yes yes, I am allowed to do that as Time falls under Infinity. And no it isn’t time travel so wipe that Mephistophelean smile off your face, I don’t want to have real live Dr. Whos and Rose Tylers.

The year will be 1876 and the smart ones already know. Yes your mental projections will be visiting Sir Alexander Graham Bell; the father of the telephone. The Aegyptopithecus to the smart phone you hold in your palm now. He patented the first practical working telephone. However, though the inventor or not depending on what history you listen to, he found the telephone a nuisance and kept it in his study. Though not evolved he could still see its danger.

Fast forward to the future. Now I know many of you are sharpening your pitchforks and stoking the fire ready for a witch-hunt or more appropriately a deity hunt, hoping to catch me and roast me well well-done. I would tell you to save your energy but you wouldn’t listen. Just like all the witches you burned during the Dark Ages who lied to you they died?

Tags, more so #tags are my pet peeve. The humans of this era are so into their Smartphone that one would be forgiven for thinking that Smartphones are their deities while in realty they are theirs stakes.

Likes comments and hash tags are the lifeline of such. When Bell made the telephone, he had no idea that the # would gain such prominence. Even the * button isn’t that button anymore. All that is left is for all mobile phones to unanimously agree that there should be a dedicated # button like the windows key on most comps

#Bell #telephony #Blogging #Writinginbed #Coffee #cofeeholic #Righthandwriting #Multitasking #Textingbae #history #research #MondayBlues #BedManenos #PhilosophicalTings (Yes I wrote tings instead of things) #MyBrainBetterThanYours #WritingIsBae #BloggingIsBae #ThoughtsUnderAMosquitoNet #AfterSundayTings #I’mSoSmart #HP #TypingInBed #DUI #DILLIC?

Yes all those #tags apply to this gigai as he types away. Seriously? You don’t #GiveADamn and I #Don’tCare. Very soon, the # in any tag shall be counted as a separate word in essays et al. #Change.

Look, you might think that #tagging makes you look all cool and such but honey baby, honey is only delicious to lick the first four times after that you get sick of it. It just shows your; yes your level of intellect and maturity is at #AllTimeLow. Yes some #tags do actually help a cause but only one out of every say 100? The rest are just piles upon piles of egotistical, egocentric, extrovert, self-seeking, selfish tags. (Feel free to #tag each individual word.) This reminds me of a certain dance movie I watched, where in the dance camp there was this super famous dance crew and the lead #tagged everything. As you can guess I didn’t finish watching the movie.

#MirrorNotLie #BathroomSelfies are some of the more annoying tags I encounter on a daily basis. Since you can’t beat them let me add a few #tags and hope they will pick pace and trend okay? #LavatoryLove #FaecalFacts #GOTPeeson1 #CeramicThrone #ShittySounds #Dr.Poo #GreatFartscapade Do I continue or stop? So far three main sites are responsible for the #tag phenomena HeadBook the Social networking site, that chirping micro blogging site Chirp Chirp! With its red sparrow and the extroverts’ paradise InstaGlam the photo-showcasing site.

Post photos all you like but don’t make the #tags take up more space than the photo itself. If the madness had been contained in the Internet I would not be really mad but when it spills over to WorstApp I scream. Then some of you have #tags so ingrained in you that even in SMSs I receive #Mpesa #OkoaJahazi #Kisses #IKR #I’mSleepy, and my agent sends a text saying “End month is approaching #RentCollectionManenos”, this is where as the Deity of the Universe of Infinite I become stark raving mad. #tags in texts? Come on! What next? #tags in speech and conversation.

 

Sandra: Hi dad so I managed to create the mountain ranges in the third planet though not as high as the Himalayas

Me: Hi there Sandra I am proud of you. #FatherDaughterIntellect I see. Well you are the daughter of the #DUI

Sandra: Uhm Okay. By the way your citizens miss you already they ask when will you be back.

Me: I #Miss them too. Tell them tomorrow is a #PublicHoliday and they can have #FunTime with #Family #Friends and #Bae.

Sandra: Okay I will try and do that but are you okay?

Me: I definitely am #Healthy just #WorkingOut #NoDoctor.

Sandra: Dad are you sure you haven’t caught one of those weird human diseases? What’s with all the #tagging in our conversation?

Me: #NeverBeenBetter #JustSpeakingLocalLanguage #GottaGo #LoveYou and #TTYL

She hung up on me before I got to the #GottaGo tag.  That conversation was not only #Ridiculous but also #Crazy #Insanity #Idiotic. She sent me a #tag free text telling me that she predicts that human communication shall revert to grunts, hieroglyphs and cave paintings very soon. Your voice boxes shall become vestigial organs and your mouths shall be for eating and maybe kissing if any of you shall remember how to do it. But I am sure you will just Googol it. Not that #ICare what happens to the #HumanRace. It is your pathetic miserable lives anyway not mine.

Until Next time from your Introverted yet Man of the People and Observant Deity of the Universe of Infinite and Hashtag free being:

 

#GOODBYE

WORLDLY ADVENTURES OF A DEITY

Every time I play Hill Climb Racing and I happen to be climbing a really steep hill, the phrase “nyan cat” always escapes my mouth, I wonder why..
Yes this is another of the Deity of the Universe of Infinite posts.. Well I created myself in June- please don’t ask how I did that for a deity never tells his secrets.. This June was exceptionally good towards me, some would say the planets were properly aligned. I will say I made the planets align themselves, that is the power as a deity that I have. I decided to come down from my castle in the sky, on cloud nine using a rainbow path that Silver Mane my High Horse galloped down it to the earth. And yes I did find the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, but I returned it to its rightful owner who was a small green man. By the way he handed me a five leaf clover am I super lucky or what?. Though as a deity I really don’t need it. I kept it as a memento.
Back to the story at hand, during the ides of June I volunteered for a certain cause and man did I have fun. Now I understand why my Greek predecessors loved leaving the heavens and coming down to mingle with the common folk.
Other than doing and giving my best, I managed to make three friends quite unwittingly. One of them dared challenge me; a deity, to a spoken duel using my preferred lexicon. Naturally the being lost but we ended up being friends. Now I noticed this habit amongst you earthlings, especially the Venetian sub species. Why do you always work, walk in pairs?. Not that I am complaining.. Anyway at least the Martian sub species don’t have that type of behaviour. Whoever penned that no man is an island should have said no woman is an island. And no I am not being chauvinistic at all.. But really men can survive alone exception being Adam.. But ladies are always in twos, threes, et al.
Strayed again, so I made this friend amongst the humans Venetian subspecies and then another and finally another.. In the end I got three for the price of one.. Not that I am complaining because now the four of us are like La Familia.. Three sisters and a brother.. And no I didn’t coin that phrase, before it was three ladies and a gent.. I think the latter sounds like a romance novel..
The best part was the being who had dared challenge Deity of the Universe of Infinite, was created the following day after I self created.. Meaning she was born a day later.. How awesome is that?. Now as you have correctly deduced I am so not planning to lose my new family that is connected not by blood but by water and friendship. As much as you humans say blood is thicker than water; in my universe there exists friends sticking closer than a brother.. So until next time’s rant and rave, take care..
PS: La Familia will have a dinner very soon. I Deity of the Universe of Infinite shall definitely tell you how it went. I definitely know it will be way better than Saturday Evening Meet (refer to previous post). And as an introverted being I will survive the evening on the little power that my antisocial battery has left

5th of June NOT 4th of July

Today 5th of June, I Deity of the Universe of infinite, stepped down from my universe and connected with the real world again. I went to a certain embassy (for security and legal reasons I wont say which and where) for a certain event (See latter parenthesis for reasons).

Well the security was as tight as the fists of a tightfisted being. I was screened about twice and had to leave everything at the security desk, even my tool of trade a box containing phosphorous nitrate sticks was apprehended; but worst of all, they took my precious Lumidee away from me.

Well I stood for about three hours, at the event, at that place, for that time, presenting our samples and presentations for prospective clients. All the while i was imagining just how many photos i would have taken and uploaded in my different sites just for me to remember this moment. Anyway I was soon bored and my mind wandered to other areas. I claim my lineage to Al Capone and my great great ancestor had a Yakuza Father and a Mafioso mother, so following my train of thought you can see where I am headed to.

apparently that place has telepathic countermeasures because no sooner had evil thoughts entered my head, than i saw three soldiers walk into the room. In fact one of them was equipped with all kinds of weapons; from a gun in the thigh holster visible for all and sundry to see, to a can of pepper spray, a stun gun, walkie-talkie and a baton. If I had chance to scrutinise further, I am positive I would have found many more concealed weapons.I mean, even his body was a walking talking human tank, complete with the long pipe thingie at the end that shoots whatchamacallit.

Talk about psychological warfare, it was bad enough there were enough people to scare a hikikomori and introvert like me, yet kicking me when I am down, you add a defensive and offensive appeal to it. To cut a long story short, we did what we came to do and then left. We were almost arrested for illegal picking of passengers and unauthorised U-Turn at the venue.

So the thing I learnt this whole day was, Lumidee is a very important being to me.

From Deity of the Universe of Infinite, Man of the People and Acclaimed quasi-hikikomoru..

Volume One of The Count’s Saying’s

Did someone call me #shy? I beg to differ, I am selectively social if you bore me am quiet, if I’m interested I’m quiet so what’s so hard?

I am not a #narcissistic being but I do love myself cause no one will love me the way I love myself

#Objectivity is a self-preservation tactic of #introverts. #Subjectivity is a self-propelling tactic of #extroverts

#Criticism from a dog is better than #flattery from a leopard.

In #Life #Unity without diversity leads to boredom n monotony.

#Diversity w/out unity leads to war and pieces.Human #Life is an effigy of dreams- burning up in smoke.

Withdrawal is a self-preservation tactic of snails, clams, turtles, tortoises and shy/introverted humans.

The #wind of change is stopped by the #walls of conservatives.

It is nearly impossible to hear a leaf fall in the forest but it isn’t impossible to see good in someone.

#Happiness is like a drug- you need it to live, you suffer withdrawal effects.

#Solitude is the strongest fortress of all. #Words are a powerful weapon but #silence an effective shield.

When you hear a door bang- either an #opportunity has entered or left the room.

#Friendship is a sensitive area- keep your enemies close but watch your friends still.

After weather, man is a very unreliable thing. After earthquakes man is a very destructive force.

The most precious thing after #Life is #Time. Time is a human want, insatiable, limited et al.

The only constant thing in #Life is change.

#Life is an 8-lane superhighway busy and fast, but you should create your own bicycle path to ride leisurely

After the banalities, come the finalities. After the PARTY it’s time to PART. A time to say hi and time to wave bye.

Human #Life is an effigy of dreams- burning up in smoke.

Emptiness doesn’t necessarily mean lack of something, it can also mean ‘filled up by/with the wrong thing’.

In Life Romance is an armed mine, willingly stepped on & Marriage is an Island of emotion surrounded by expenses.

A quick #Nap to the #Body is a set of #Wings to the #Mind.

In #Life The #Future belongs to those who prepare for it #Today.

The #Ultimate form of #Love in #Life is loving and not being loved back or loving thankless people.

#Trust is stronger than Covalent bond. Yet its easiest 2 break. It’s also a mirror, once cracked the reflected image will never be the same.

#Matriachly, #Dreams are an evil medium of communication.#personally, #Dreams are an escape/ medium of interrealm interastral transport & communication.#religiously, #Dreams are a medium of communication.#scientifically, #Dreams are a manifestation of the subconscious.

There are times when #Life is like a hamster wheel, times it rides you, time it sails with you, flies past you,

#Life is but a short sprint between the incubator and the coffin.

Just as a spider spins its web n lives in it, you too spin your dreams n live in/thru them as long as it isn’t Penelope’s Web.

Living #Life is as easy as finding the area of a triangle- it depends on the formula used: hero’s, 1/2BH or Sin Cos Tan.

The Homo Genus is the only taxa that theorises and then does practicals. The rest of the 5 kingdoms have no such luxury.

When #Life promises you a wedding, dress 4 a funeral, if it promises to catch u n the way down, u better have an independent parachute.

Want to hear Rhythm of #Life, grab a #Stethoscope. Want to see below the facts get a #Bathyscaphe.Looking4 hope/higher view use a periscope. Looking for fun/creative side of #Life, use a kaleidoscope. Want your stars read use a HORRORSCOPE.Looking 4 perfection, use a microscope. Want mistakes & faults, use a mirror. Want to have friends, use a telescope to see their faults.

A #Rainbow has 7 colours, so does #Life have its moments- happy, sad, good, bad, work, leisure, pleasure, and business, enjoy it while you can.

Friends should be like oxpeckers, they stick close by & can be a nuisance at times- but in reality they actually help you by removing harmful ticks.

In #Life when between the Devil and the deep blue sea, Choose the sea for you might get a Lifeboat of Lesson, Ocean Liner of Opportunity, Raft of Reason.

Man is the master chameleon on earth. Pretentious yet pretending not to be pretentious.

#People ask for help in different ways. Silently, loudly, directly, in a roundabout way, consciously, subconsciously. Listen closely and help.

#Feelings of unworthiness are in the same league as jealousy, rage grief & sadness they smoulder and consume you from the inside.

#Death is an inevitable part of #Life, why then is mankind surprised when people die?