Dining on pomegranate
Entirely ingesting what I get
After math is charming sleep
Taken to dance in Asphodel Keep
Hades’ calling; I do a back step
Immortality, humans do seek
Shinigami on duty makes a wall of brick.
Culling down your ill gains
Adding up all your emotional pains
Lady Luck does me forsake
Lose a lot when I make a mistake
Ignorance just isn’t bliss
Nightshades’ deathly kiss
Gets on my purple lips
Marking the beginning of the demise
Ever ready, so it ain’t a surprise
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Waking, standing, walking sleeping,
This question makes my radar go a’beeping,
Just what is my life worth,
On this blue life-more earth?
Am I really a cog in this machinery called living,
Or just a clog, that should get the hint and start leaving?
If after all I play no part
Ţo paint the work of art
No brush strokes to the canvas do I add,
Then its really sad,
That I can’t even sing a ballad
Or strike a C minor
Note, or education C-
To prove I was taught.
Just what is the purpose of my life?
Severing is the work of à knife
Of my wrist
To complete cease and desist.
So before I truncate,
Why my heart still pumps?
Though on this Highway I’m neither a pothole nor a speed bump,
A rumble strip
Nor a rise nor a dip.
I try to extrapolate
Using scatter points, a line of best fit,
But I realise I am just a misfit
A damn insignificant trickle
In this super valley that life stream flows,
So you see I’m fickle..
All I await is the scythe and sickle,
Hence my ears do not tickle,
That’s the position
Of my situation
I’m just a carication
Of Divine boredom
No difference from a glowworm
Though a correction
To that attestation
A glowworm gives forth light
So I have no right
To insult its existence
Using it as my defence..
(To be continued)
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Dreams are shattered, hope is lost
E’r one is dull, though I’m the host
Ambience is low, morale is down
Theme is gloom, so don funeral gown
Heat is absent, hence chill to frost
Inside is rot
Smiling is by rote
Attention is craved, despair is received
Life loses lustre, though twas alabaster
Lessons learned, experiences lived
Utopia dissolved, reality precipitates
Reasons denied, excuses abundant
Internal turmoil, my mind agitates
No one cares, I become flippant
Gone with the wind, existence denied.
It is really hard to kill a Deity.. If you go down the time stream you’ll see very few gods if any have ever been killed.. Usually they are just stripped of their powers; banished and exiled from their abodes; imprisoned in faraway places where there influence can not be felt..
Think I am lying? Read Greek mythology and see the fate of the Titans Cronos and Rhea; or if you prefer more modern examples check out how Aizen Sousuke couldn’t be killed but was rather placed in solitary confinement.
So what does this have to do with the death of a Deity if it is hard to kill one? Well, honestly I have no idea where to begin, but I do know where to end.
Life and Death are a pair of nexus that can’t be undone at least for now. Where light falls, darkness has to follow close behind; therefore where life lands, death is closely following in her footsteps. Hypothetically, what is created can be destroyed; that is the bare and harsh truth.
For the agnostics and the Theists, you are all thimking, if a deity dies, doesn’t all the deity’s creation stand a chnace of also being destroyed? for the atheists at least that conundrum does not really bother you.
Day by day my usefulness drops.. I am slowly being pushed to the dogs, being thrown out to the rain and discarded unceremoniously like a used teabag.. When will this torture end? When will it stop?. I have accepted the fact that I will never love someone neither will I ever be loved. I have also accepted that my fate in life is to be a loner, I will never have that special friend.. But really?. Take away my pseudo purpose of life? Is that fair?. Isn’t that hitting below the belt?. Kicking a man on the ground.. Am I really that much of a burden to everyone that I’d rather be dumped like a hot potato?. Why take away the only pride I have left of being called a human?.
Why not then have created me to be an animal? Animals have no senses except physical senses, so why not one?
I am not ungrateful for giving me this chance but it is a complete waste. I ask all the deities of this universe, am I really that unworthy? Then why did you create me in the first place? Wouldn’t it have been better to just let me remain in that state of nonexistence?. Or if I am a mistake isn’t it best that then action be taken to immediately correct it by wiping me off the universe? Or do the deities have a sense of pleasure from watching me suffer? Why? Or will taking me away show that you have finally acknowledged my presence?.
If that’s the case then let me unburden you with that by slowly killing myself in all aspects before taking the final step and doing it physically. At least by then two birds will have been killed with one stone: I will have been wiped off the universe and two, your hands will be free of bloodshed. Should I turn to atheism? No because I know that YOU exist. My other option is being agnostic. However, I know you are usually involved in human life. Except mine so agnostic won’t cut it. So I’ll make my own version of being agnostic, self-agnosticism.. That will cover my school of thought..
Am I seeking attention from others? Far from it. I hate being in the limelight, preferring to work from the shadows where no one can see. I hate when people call me good and nice because I know I am not. Introvercy is my nature so the further away I am from people the better I function. But unfortunately I was created a human and not a hermit crab so I do need company once in a while. Why? Why all this conflicting ideologies in me? I hate everything about my life… As I of late say at times death does seem sweeter than life….
Back to the shadows I go,
I let the darkness flow,
Meld to the darkness,
To stifle this sadness
Of My existence denied, therefore I am exiled,
I’m a nobody, Acknowledged by none
This feelings of worthlessness weigh like a tonne,
From within I am weak
From without I can’t seek
In the inside I am but dead
To the outside I am just dead
So as I am dead to all and me
What’s to stop my soul running free?..
Death is once again the only way,
For I don’t want to see another day..
You can judge me I really don’t care
For its too late I’m already there..
Past the point of no return
Where playing dead is more than fun..
Do I blame you, no I can’t..
Though it is really your blame..