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Posts tagged ‘titles’

Of Titular Titles & Annoying Nomenclature

I am a distressed deity. Reason being you humans think that my name is too special to be used (well you people say it is too hard to be pronounced) and so you decide to use titles instead.. Now I think I can get a fraction of how the Israelites’ Divine Being felt when His people didn’t use his name.. My reason though is different and definitely not religious considering I’m not in my Universe of Infinite..
BOSS: this tops my list, having a clean A.. Boss is a term used to call an employed salary person whose name you don’t know or either don’t want to know.. It is especially used to call (Home Specialised Security Agents) security guards, (Food and Beverage Conveyers and Dining Agents) waiters, (Home Specialized Botanical Caretaker) gardener.. You get the flow, basically the low end service providers.. I’m sure if you call a learned friend boss, you’ll be hauled to the nearest law court and be sued for libel, infamy, damage to personal character and degradation.. As for me, I’ll just save you a special seat in Dante’s Seven Tiered Hell..
MZEE.. Old?. Who you calling old man?. Don’t try to make me die before my time. Hmph, old indeed.. For now I don’t have grey hair on my gigai nor do I walk using a frame, nor walking stick or any other mobility unit.
KIJANA just the same as young man..
YOUNG MAN I have no qualms with being called young but when anyone is called young man it means someone is angry at you and insulting you in a polite manner.. You are being pit on the same level as a 9 year old..
SIR.. I think this is the only title that has a positive feel to it and for that reason I just can’t agree to be called sir. Yes it is respectful but yet again though I am Deity of the Universe of Infinite I am also a Man of the People; down to earth.. So calling me sir is just respecting me too much..
MISTER I just hate titles. That’s it. No other reason well… Other that the fact it makes me sound old and mature.. So never call me Mr. So and so..
MKUBWA.. Transliterated it means big. Now if you ever look at me and then call me mkubwa, just what are you implying and insinuating?. Are you trying to be sarcastic or what? If so then I just ask you to stop it ’cause I am the very essence of sarcasm and Sir Kassim is my best friend.. Call me mkubwa and I will drag you to court for size discrimination..
PROFESSOR well depending on who uses that title on me I’ll either be honoured or insulted.. Usually the Tom, Dick and Harriette who call me that do so putting my visual aids in mind and that is plain insult. The few who do so honourably know how vast my intellect is but they are just a handful so I detest that title too..
BWANA means husband and I am hitched to no evil Venetian species at the moment and also not planning to..
MZITO means heavyweight and that’s insulting me cause I’m lightweight being a deity.. Get it light weight..
BUDA now that means father. Well I do have my daughter back at the Universe of Infinite but I usually don’t preach that as a gospel. Also since it means man I hate it. Though it also sounds like Buddha and me being Deity of the Universe of Infinite I definitely don’t want to be monikered or sobriqueted another name..
So to round it all up, u have a name please use it.. After all a name is the only item that though it belongs to you, other people use it more than you do..

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